Thanks, dkogan!

As your awkward, gangly body begins to grow – your muscles blooming, your willowy penis thickening into a sturdy tool, you need the guidance of a middle-aged man who likes to play dress-up and go camping in the woods with hordes of young boys.

And...

While almost all American boys have human-looking privates, most foreign boys have privates like German Shepherds or half-open tubes of Max Factor lipstick.

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha.

Righto...

Okay, this is old, I'm going to tell you that right now, so if you have any actual comments, might as well comment here and not on the thread. But it's just so fucking scary, man.

All my non-existent children are getting a VERY thorough sex education, damnit.