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I need money, damnit. I have two parking tickets and I need to get groceries, and I only have about $90 total. That includes what's in the bank. I'm applying for jobs, but so far I haven't heard anything. I heard that EB Games is hiring, so maybe I'll try there. A game store would be nice to work at.
I want to watch scary movies, but I don't want to watch them by myself, I don't own any scary movies aside from Dawn of the Dead, and I don't want to bother anybody by asking them to come watch with me. I don't want to call a certain person because I don't want him to think I'm stalking him, since I just saw him earlier this weekend, but that would be the perfect way to try and sneak in a hug. Man, I'm a tool. But I do want to watch scary movies. Maybe I'll arrange something with a friend. I don't know.
I want to be in Haunted Hall next year. I'll have to remember to sign up for that, and also remember to bring Rob to Sibs Weekend next year as well. (I'll just have to make sure he doesn't hit anyone in the crotch.)
I'm having trouble writing this personal statement and I don't know why, but I'm going to try to get it done and mailed by Wednesday.
Mom said she would call around and see which psychologists in the area take our insurance, but she keeps forgetting, and I'm starting to think that she's just not calling because she wants to frustrate me into calling myself. But she wouldn't be making the appointment, I would. I know I need to get over my anxiety over speaking on the phone, but the less I have to worry about, the better. So hopefully she'll make the calls tomorrow, and then I can see about making an appointment. I need to talk to somebody and hopefully get some advice. I'm going from perfectly fine and maybe even a little more confident than before, to periods of feeling absolutely hopeless and unloved. And I know that my friends care, but sometimes it feels like that's not the case. I'm the one who asks to do stuff, I'm the one who calls on the phone or sends an IM, and every time I do so I'm afraid that I'm being a bother and the friend I'm talking to is deciding that they never want to see or speak to me again. I'm the one who makes all the effort. Is it really too much to expect someone else to pick up the phone or suggest that we hang out? So far, the only person who usually makes this kind of effort is Andy N., and even that's not too often. Or am I just obliviously annoying and not worth the effort?
I want to watch scary movies, but I don't want to watch them by myself, I don't own any scary movies aside from Dawn of the Dead, and I don't want to bother anybody by asking them to come watch with me. I don't want to call a certain person because I don't want him to think I'm stalking him, since I just saw him earlier this weekend, but that would be the perfect way to try and sneak in a hug. Man, I'm a tool. But I do want to watch scary movies. Maybe I'll arrange something with a friend. I don't know.
I want to be in Haunted Hall next year. I'll have to remember to sign up for that, and also remember to bring Rob to Sibs Weekend next year as well. (I'll just have to make sure he doesn't hit anyone in the crotch.)
I'm having trouble writing this personal statement and I don't know why, but I'm going to try to get it done and mailed by Wednesday.
Mom said she would call around and see which psychologists in the area take our insurance, but she keeps forgetting, and I'm starting to think that she's just not calling because she wants to frustrate me into calling myself. But she wouldn't be making the appointment, I would. I know I need to get over my anxiety over speaking on the phone, but the less I have to worry about, the better. So hopefully she'll make the calls tomorrow, and then I can see about making an appointment. I need to talk to somebody and hopefully get some advice. I'm going from perfectly fine and maybe even a little more confident than before, to periods of feeling absolutely hopeless and unloved. And I know that my friends care, but sometimes it feels like that's not the case. I'm the one who asks to do stuff, I'm the one who calls on the phone or sends an IM, and every time I do so I'm afraid that I'm being a bother and the friend I'm talking to is deciding that they never want to see or speak to me again. I'm the one who makes all the effort. Is it really too much to expect someone else to pick up the phone or suggest that we hang out? So far, the only person who usually makes this kind of effort is Andy N., and even that's not too often. Or am I just obliviously annoying and not worth the effort?
