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Short story I wrote based on a writing prompt for Creative Writing. Tell me whatcha think.
How People Got Feet
When the world was made, people didn’t have feet. The first person only had stumps at the end of his legs, where his ankles should be. He got around well enough, though he had trouble balancing. And he didn’t have to worry about stubbing his toes on rocks or anything.
Man did have eyes, though. And he watched the other animals, with their hooves and paws and claws. They could balance, and attack creatures behind them. It seemed they had a lot going for them. After watching in growing jealousy for a while, Man decided to go ask The Big Guy (heretofore referred to as TBG) for some feet. He walked… and walked… and walked some more, over hills, rivers, and rocks as big as the feet he would have liked to have; through freezing snow, scalding desert sands, and forests with thick carpets of really prickly pine needles that jabbed his stumps and made them bleed.
By the time he got to TBG’s cave, Man was exhausted. He sat on the ground and massaged his stumps, grumbling about poor planning.
“Poor planning?!” said a rumbling voice from deep inside the cave. “POOR PLANNING?! I’ll have you know, Man, that I planned this all out perfectly! You’re not supposed to have hooves and paws and claws! You’ll make do with stumps, and you’ll do it and be happy with it!”
Man snorted. “At least let me see if I want these things. Maybe I’ll decide that hooves are nicer to look at than to use.”
TBG sighed but agreed to give Man a trial version of different feet. First, he gave Man hooves. They were nice enough, Man thought. He couldn’t really feel anything through them, so the hot sands, cold snow, and rough ground didn’t bother him at all. But they weren’t really flexible, and rocks kept getting stuck in them and hurting him. He couldn’t hoist himself into trees without the hooves getting in the way. And they were so small, he couldn’t balance well. No, Man decided, hooves weren’t for him. Besides, the unicorn was starting to get angry. Seems Man’s hooves were nicer than his own.
Next came the paws. They had thick, tough pads on the bottoms, nice sharp claws, and a lovely covering of silky brown fur. Very nice, Man thought. Practical, too! Indeed, he could go many places, and the claws helped him get a good grip on otherwise slippery surfaces. But still, they were too small. He constantly cut himself on his claws. And they were so pretty he didn’t want to use them. Even the rabbit’s back paws didn’t work; when he tried to use them, he tripped over them and knocked over his favorite vase, which broke and couldn’t be put back together satisfactorily.
He tried every kind of foot that TBG had available. Nothing worked. Too big, too small, too ugly, too weird… Man was getting frustrated. And he was beginning to suspect that TBG was trying to trick him.
This whole time, he’d never seen TBG. No one had; that was the rule. But Man was so angry that one day he stomped into the cave, bear paws for feet, and searched the cave, shouting for TBG to come out. He looked high and low, but TBG was nowhere to be found.
Finally, in a small cavern near the back of the cave, Man stumbled on the only person in the cave. He looked like a tiny version of Man himself, except that he had a pair of perfect feet, the likes of which Man had never seen.
“Who are you?” Man asked, curious.
The little person squeaked. “I’m The Big Guy!” he shouted. “How dare you come in here?”
“The Big Guy?!” This was hilarious. The Big Guy was really The Tiny Guy. Man guffawed, then remembered why he came in the cave. “I want better feet!” he said. “Like those!” And he pointed at TTG’s feet.
“But they’re mine!” TTG said. “You can’t have them!”
“Oh? And how will you stop me from taking them?” Man stretched as tall as he could. “I’m bigger than you, remember?”
“They – they won’t be your size!” Man pondered this a moment. TTG was right. They would be far too small for him to wear.
“Then make me a pair like them. You gave everyone else feet, and I expect some too.”
TTG sighed. “Fine. One moment.” He went into another room, where Man could hear him puttering around and working furiously. A few hours later, TTG came back into the cavern, sweaty and bearing a pair of feet, just Man’s size. “Here. Now don’t go telling anyone where you got these, and if you say a word about me to the other creatures I’ll make your life miserable!”
“Okay, okay,” Man said. He put on his new feet and ran outside. These were great! Why hadn’t TTG just given them to him in the first place?
On his way home, Man was stopped by an envious crowd of animals. “Where did you get such lovely feet?” asked the snake.
Remembering TTG’s threat, Man thought a moment. “I got them,” he said, “at Walmart.”
When the world was made, people didn’t have feet. The first person only had stumps at the end of his legs, where his ankles should be. He got around well enough, though he had trouble balancing. And he didn’t have to worry about stubbing his toes on rocks or anything.
Man did have eyes, though. And he watched the other animals, with their hooves and paws and claws. They could balance, and attack creatures behind them. It seemed they had a lot going for them. After watching in growing jealousy for a while, Man decided to go ask The Big Guy (heretofore referred to as TBG) for some feet. He walked… and walked… and walked some more, over hills, rivers, and rocks as big as the feet he would have liked to have; through freezing snow, scalding desert sands, and forests with thick carpets of really prickly pine needles that jabbed his stumps and made them bleed.
By the time he got to TBG’s cave, Man was exhausted. He sat on the ground and massaged his stumps, grumbling about poor planning.
“Poor planning?!” said a rumbling voice from deep inside the cave. “POOR PLANNING?! I’ll have you know, Man, that I planned this all out perfectly! You’re not supposed to have hooves and paws and claws! You’ll make do with stumps, and you’ll do it and be happy with it!”
Man snorted. “At least let me see if I want these things. Maybe I’ll decide that hooves are nicer to look at than to use.”
TBG sighed but agreed to give Man a trial version of different feet. First, he gave Man hooves. They were nice enough, Man thought. He couldn’t really feel anything through them, so the hot sands, cold snow, and rough ground didn’t bother him at all. But they weren’t really flexible, and rocks kept getting stuck in them and hurting him. He couldn’t hoist himself into trees without the hooves getting in the way. And they were so small, he couldn’t balance well. No, Man decided, hooves weren’t for him. Besides, the unicorn was starting to get angry. Seems Man’s hooves were nicer than his own.
Next came the paws. They had thick, tough pads on the bottoms, nice sharp claws, and a lovely covering of silky brown fur. Very nice, Man thought. Practical, too! Indeed, he could go many places, and the claws helped him get a good grip on otherwise slippery surfaces. But still, they were too small. He constantly cut himself on his claws. And they were so pretty he didn’t want to use them. Even the rabbit’s back paws didn’t work; when he tried to use them, he tripped over them and knocked over his favorite vase, which broke and couldn’t be put back together satisfactorily.
He tried every kind of foot that TBG had available. Nothing worked. Too big, too small, too ugly, too weird… Man was getting frustrated. And he was beginning to suspect that TBG was trying to trick him.
This whole time, he’d never seen TBG. No one had; that was the rule. But Man was so angry that one day he stomped into the cave, bear paws for feet, and searched the cave, shouting for TBG to come out. He looked high and low, but TBG was nowhere to be found.
Finally, in a small cavern near the back of the cave, Man stumbled on the only person in the cave. He looked like a tiny version of Man himself, except that he had a pair of perfect feet, the likes of which Man had never seen.
“Who are you?” Man asked, curious.
The little person squeaked. “I’m The Big Guy!” he shouted. “How dare you come in here?”
“The Big Guy?!” This was hilarious. The Big Guy was really The Tiny Guy. Man guffawed, then remembered why he came in the cave. “I want better feet!” he said. “Like those!” And he pointed at TTG’s feet.
“But they’re mine!” TTG said. “You can’t have them!”
“Oh? And how will you stop me from taking them?” Man stretched as tall as he could. “I’m bigger than you, remember?”
“They – they won’t be your size!” Man pondered this a moment. TTG was right. They would be far too small for him to wear.
“Then make me a pair like them. You gave everyone else feet, and I expect some too.”
TTG sighed. “Fine. One moment.” He went into another room, where Man could hear him puttering around and working furiously. A few hours later, TTG came back into the cavern, sweaty and bearing a pair of feet, just Man’s size. “Here. Now don’t go telling anyone where you got these, and if you say a word about me to the other creatures I’ll make your life miserable!”
“Okay, okay,” Man said. He put on his new feet and ran outside. These were great! Why hadn’t TTG just given them to him in the first place?
On his way home, Man was stopped by an envious crowd of animals. “Where did you get such lovely feet?” asked the snake.
Remembering TTG’s threat, Man thought a moment. “I got them,” he said, “at Walmart.”
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From:
no subject
I give you two words:
ECKS DEE!
^_____^