That's great. I'm crying over a hunk of metal and plastic.

[amadeupname]

So I've been going over the requirements for the computer I need for Graphic Design. I need an Apple Powerbook G4 -- $1,300. With all the software (Adobe Creative Suite, Microsoft Office, Macromedia Studio)? That's $3,700. $3,700 that I don't have. And I can't count on my parents to buy the software for me -- not when Dad keeps throwing hissy fits about who's paying what on my tuition, and Mom has another, just as expensive, kid to raise by herself.

I don't even know if I'm capable of being able to do this. I can't do anything like the examples on the site. Even the application pieces they show are better than what I can do. All I draw is lineart, and this is full-blown, shaded, charcoal/colored pencil/whatever ART. I can't do that. I do manga -- not even good manga. And art schools don't want manga. They want "real" art, which is on a level higher than I can reach at this moment.

Goddamnit, this is not that fucking big a deal and why the hell am I still crying?!

I know I'm overreacting. I know I'm acting stupid. But I don't know how to stop myself, I don't know how to let things go, and I don't know how to keep from obsessing over this. I don't even know if this is right for me -- I haven't really drawn in months, other than quick, crappy sketches when I'm bored. I don't want to waste money on a computer system I'm not comfortable with if I don't get into the program. I don't know what else I could go into. I thought maybe I could be a translator, but I don't know. I just don't know.

Comments

[angahith.livejournal.com]

Aren't there like... special software offers for students over there?
Over here, you get them a LOT cheaper if you're studying. Like... at least 60% cheaper. O_o

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

I don't know how to even begin trying to figure that out, or look for offers like that. >_< Apple's website mentions student discounts, but the Powerbook is $1,300 WITH discount, and I dont' know if that extends to the software or not.

[anotherstraycat.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about not being as good as the samples. The great thing about art school is that they teach you how to do all of that. That's their purpose. Trust me, I've been to art school. Allow me to assure you that your art is better than mine was when I applied. I still got in and I improved dramatically in just a few short months.

The great thing about art is that everyone knows something different about it and everyone wants to share that knowledge. So don't worry, you'll learn everything and be on par with the rest of the students in no time at all. And everyone will help you get there, you just need to ask.

As for the computer, why not wait until you know if you're accepted before stressing about buying it? Once you know you're in, you'll find the means because it will suddenly be a necessity. There are several things you can do, you can set up a donation box online and all of us here and all those who visit your art site can donate and help out. You can do commision art work and save that money for that. You can probably compromise with your parents and instead of having them buy it all for you, you can loan the money from them and pay them back in instalments. They'll be a lot more receptive to the idea if you put it to them that way and you'll feel more pride in the ownership as the computer will become something you earned rather than received.

I'm in the process of learning about ways to generate income from nothing so I'm sure I can come up with more suggestions to you soon. So just e-mail me when you need them and I'll do my best to help you out ^_^

In the meantime, don't worry. Worst case scenario, you don't get in and in that case, you can just go into a different art program that will help you build up the skills that you need to get into this program and you can spend the time in between working up the money you'll need for your equipement.

Good luck though, I'm sure it'll all work out *hugs*

[greyepsilon.livejournal.com]

Students get discounts on computers. And free iPod Mini 4GB until sometime in September. And besides... why do you need Macromedia Studio for? Fireworks MAYBE, but the Adobe Creative Suite 2 has everything you really need. :X

And you only need the 120$ student and teacher edition of Office:mac that has Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Entourage (mail), not the professional version of Office (that version comes with a program called Virtual PC... and it costs about 400$ for the XP Home edition plus the 200-300$ you're paying for the other software).