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I feel like shit.
I thought I was fine until I went down to the dining hall to have breakfast half an hour ago. I got a muffin and my usual oatmeal and some coffee, and dug in. I ate slowly, and only ended up having the muffin and a few bites of the oatmeal before I realized that I couldn't swallow any more, and that the ache in my tummy wasn't from hunger. I put my tray away and left, all the while feeling more and more like I needed to throw up. But it wasn't that "Fuck, I'm gonna hurl NOW" feeling, it was that "It's quite possible the food I just ate won't still be in my stomach half an hour from now" feeling. So I went into the bathroom and hunched over a toilet.
Now, I hate vomiting as much as the next person. It tastes horrible, it leaves my teeth feeling gritty and nasty, it burns my throat, and the only way I can make my mouth start feeling anywhere near normal again is if I brush my teeth, and that still doesn't take care of the bitter acid taste in the back of my throat. It's disgusting, and no fun at all, and I can't see why or how bulemics do it. But if I'm truly feeling sick, and it's impairing my ability to sleep or function, then usually I feel better once I puke, because the reason for feeling icky is gone. (Unless I've got the stomach flu, but that's another story.) So I was hoping to puke and get it over with, so I could get dressed and finish up my critique and sit around for a bit before Japanese.
But no, I was subjected to what I won't even call dry heaving. Dry heaving means you're puking, but there's nothing coming out. I've dry heaved before, thank you very much you goddamn stomach flu, and this was more like half a dry heave. It was barely the beginning of a heave. I could feel my throat trying to push something up, but there was nothing to come out. It's like my stomach refused to cooperate with my esophagus. "Nooooo! I don't want to give up my food! Let her feel like crap, I don't care!" I KNOW there's food in there, you stupid sack of tissue! Give it up! LET ME FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WITHOUT WONDERING WHETHER I'M GOING TO HAVE TO RUN DOWN FOUR FLIGHTS OF STAIRS SO I CAN VOMIT, DAMN YOU!!!
I would just skip Japanese today, since I can afford to and we're only going over the review sheet he handed us yesterday, but we need to sign up for our speaking test tomorrow. I'm thinking I might just go in and sign up, and then wait around for my next class. Or something. Fuck, I'm so tired! Andy had better not be right. I can't be getting sick.
I thought I was fine until I went down to the dining hall to have breakfast half an hour ago. I got a muffin and my usual oatmeal and some coffee, and dug in. I ate slowly, and only ended up having the muffin and a few bites of the oatmeal before I realized that I couldn't swallow any more, and that the ache in my tummy wasn't from hunger. I put my tray away and left, all the while feeling more and more like I needed to throw up. But it wasn't that "Fuck, I'm gonna hurl NOW" feeling, it was that "It's quite possible the food I just ate won't still be in my stomach half an hour from now" feeling. So I went into the bathroom and hunched over a toilet.
Now, I hate vomiting as much as the next person. It tastes horrible, it leaves my teeth feeling gritty and nasty, it burns my throat, and the only way I can make my mouth start feeling anywhere near normal again is if I brush my teeth, and that still doesn't take care of the bitter acid taste in the back of my throat. It's disgusting, and no fun at all, and I can't see why or how bulemics do it. But if I'm truly feeling sick, and it's impairing my ability to sleep or function, then usually I feel better once I puke, because the reason for feeling icky is gone. (Unless I've got the stomach flu, but that's another story.) So I was hoping to puke and get it over with, so I could get dressed and finish up my critique and sit around for a bit before Japanese.
But no, I was subjected to what I won't even call dry heaving. Dry heaving means you're puking, but there's nothing coming out. I've dry heaved before, thank you very much you goddamn stomach flu, and this was more like half a dry heave. It was barely the beginning of a heave. I could feel my throat trying to push something up, but there was nothing to come out. It's like my stomach refused to cooperate with my esophagus. "Nooooo! I don't want to give up my food! Let her feel like crap, I don't care!" I KNOW there's food in there, you stupid sack of tissue! Give it up! LET ME FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WITHOUT WONDERING WHETHER I'M GOING TO HAVE TO RUN DOWN FOUR FLIGHTS OF STAIRS SO I CAN VOMIT, DAMN YOU!!!
I would just skip Japanese today, since I can afford to and we're only going over the review sheet he handed us yesterday, but we need to sign up for our speaking test tomorrow. I'm thinking I might just go in and sign up, and then wait around for my next class. Or something. Fuck, I'm so tired! Andy had better not be right. I can't be getting sick.
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