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Rest assured, dear friends, there is drama in the air! Indeed, I bring you happenings involving creepy friends and body issues.
See, I have this friend, Zac. I met Zac in, oh, September or October of 2005. He messaged me on Facebook, and I could tell he was hoping for a romantic encounter. I figured it would be safe if I had him meet me at Whimsicality Club, and he ended up coming to the Leaf Pile Olympics.
Now, before the LPO, I saw him talking to Will and "the Collective", and when I asked Will about him he said, "Oh, you mean Creepy Stalker Zac?" So that didn't exactly give me a good feeling about agreeing to meet him. Still, I was meeting him at a group event where people knew me and would actually look out for me, and there was no way I was going to be going to his room, or him to mine. So I shrugged it off as personal bias and went to Whimsy in a slightly nervous state.
The first thing Zac did when he saw me was say hello. Perfectly normal, of course. And then he opened his arms for a hug. I hugged him, only because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but that really creeped me out. And things didn't get too much better - he joined Whimsicality Club, and while I became his friend he still (and does to this day) made me somewhat nervous. He would IM me constantly, even though he really had nothing to say, and while this is normally not something that annoys me (hell, I do it myself!), he wouldn't get the hint that I didn't want to talk to him. I'd be sending him one- or two-word responses, and he would prattle on like I'd asked him to describe his entire life. And once I'd established that I didn't like him as anything more than a friend, he would deny ever having even considered me as a romantic interest, saying I wasn't his type at all. Which was fine with me, obviously. He spent most of his time crushing on various girls in Whimsy, including a good stint where both he and Will were infatuated with the other Sarah in the group. She told me a couple times about how she and Zac would be watching a movie, with her lying in bed and him on the chair, and he would get on the bed with her and basically try to cuddle up with her.
I really, really wish I'd done what everyone else advised and blocked his AIM screen name.
Eventually he stopped IMing me so much and being such a pain in the ass. It was mostly this last semester that this happened, and I think a big part of that was because he developed a huge crush on my friend Katie. Now, Katie is a friend from Jackson. I am the one who got her to consider going to Western. I am also the one who introduced her to her boyfriend of six months, Andy. It didn't take me too long to pick up on his feelings, and after confirming them with him I promptly told Katie about it - after all, it was something she should know, considering she had a boyfriend, and we tell each other almost everything. For a while it wasn't a problem, since we tended to hang out together and that way we could just tease Zac about it. Andy eventually figured it out on his own. Zac claims that the only reason Andy knows is because I told him, but I didn't say a word. I didn't need to - anyone with eyes could see he likes Katie. Every time Andy and Katie kiss (and this is not often in public, and usually just a couple kisses on the lips with a bit of tongue, no groping or anything like that involved), he turns away and will often move to another part of the room. He keeps looking at Katie with this longing expression on his face, too. He's said that he is perfectly discreet about it, and every time I hear that I have to laugh my ass off. He is less subtle than I am when I have a crush on someone, and I thought that was impossible.
Katie likes to set people up. She's been having Zac meet some of her single friends, and I think I'm one of her pet projects. She likes to joke about us going out and being perfect for each other because we bicker so much. I have sworn off this idea on the basis that Zac makes me want to go lock myself in a padded room at the thought of kissing him - it's not that he's hideous, but he is not physically attractive to me at all, and with the creepy factor added in my body starts wanting to grow poisonous barbs. So she's been having Zac meet a few girls she knows. And recently Zac had a girlfriend, but she broke it off rather quickly, stating that she wasn't ready for a relationship. Normally I would chalk this up to bad luck, but I've heard some things that make me feel sorry for these girls. Namely, that he tried to force one of the girls to kiss him.
Did I mention that he seems to have no sense of personal space?
On Sunday, I decided that it would be fun to have Zac and Katie over and cook dinner for them. And by dinner, I meant spaghetti and peach crisp, because that's what I had and I didn't want to eat it all by myself. So I called them both up. Katie couldn't come, but Zac was, of course, free, and his roommate Nathan was coming to dinner as well. I needed to go to Meijer to pick up some butter and stuff, and asked Zac if he wanted to come along, and of course he did. While we were shopping, I was pushing the cart and Zac walked behind me, and periodically he would put his hand against my back or shoulder. After a while this started to really annoy me, and I told him (truthfully) that it reminded me of how my dad tends to get touchy-feely when he's drunk, and that I hate it. He said he was only trying to steer me in the right direction, though how he was going to steer me with a light touch when I was already done turning and heading into the next aisle I wasn't sure.
You'd think that what I said would be enough of a hint for him to realize that I didn't like him touching me. But he didn't, and eventually he was back to randomly touching my back. Now, I know that I should have spoken up, but I was afraid I was going to hurt his feelings by saying "Hey, don't touch me." Anyway, at one point I told him that I was going to hit him if he didn't quit it. He chuckled like I was joking, and because I was pretty pissed off I whirled around and smacked him in the face. He got indignant and started whining, and I told him that I was sorry I'd hit him that hard, but I'd warned him. At dinner, he kept harping about it, and even went so far as to joke that I was Voldemort and he was Harry Potter, and every time I got mad his face hurt.
Afterward, I couldn't find my keys. I'd had Zac take my keys and run to my room to get something, and he was the last person to have them. When I called him he said he didn't have them, and kept saying "I can't help you, so what do you want me to do?" Eventually I got him to come over to help look, but I found them before he got there. I called him to let him know I had, and he got pissed off that I'd dragged him out in the cold for nothing. I went back to my room and got online, and of course he IMed me.
9:24:36 PM phantomzac: blarg
9:24:43 PM kittyspawnie: You know
9:24:50 PM kittyspawnie: it's partly your fault they were lost
9:25:02 PM kittyspawnie: if you'd handed them to me or put them on the table they wouldn't have gotten sucked into the couch
9:25:11 PM phantomzac: whatever
9:25:20 PM kittyspawnie: =P
9:25:23 PM kittyspawnie: But thank you
9:25:45 PM phantomzac: meh
9:25:54 PM phantomzac: no problem
9:27:27 PM phantomzac: Sorry, I'm in a really pissy mood right now
9:27:34 PM kittyspawnie: I'm sorry
9:27:38 PM phantomzac: meh
9:27:48 PM kittyspawnie: Well, it's my fault anyway >_<
9:27:53 PM phantomzac: is it?
9:28:30 PM kittyspawnie: Um, I bitched at you about my keys when you couldn't do anything and had you walk over here for nothing. Why wouldn't it be my fault?
9:28:47 PM phantomzac: I suppose that's partially it
9:29:21 PM kittyspawnie: I'm really sorry
9:30:07 PM phantomzac: bah
9:30:25 PM phantomzac: it's unimportant
9:30:27 PM kittyspawnie: mmkay
9:30:42 PM phantomzac: I'm just confused
9:30:47 PM kittyspawnie: ?
9:30:55 PM phantomzac: nothing...never mind
9:31:07 PM kittyspawnie: okay
9:31:41 PM phantomzac: *sigh*
9:31:49 PM kittyspawnie: what?
9:31:53 PM phantomzac: nothing...
9:32:02 PM phantomzac: guess...I'm just lonely again
9:32:07 PM kittyspawnie: I'm sorry
9:32:15 PM phantomzac: not really your thought
9:33:36 PM phantomzac: *fault
9:33:44 PM kittyspawnie: hmm
9:33:50 PM phantomzac: what?
9:33:58 PM kittyspawnie: I dunno
9:34:00 PM kittyspawnie: I'm tired
9:34:12 PM phantomzac: then go to sleep, I'll solve my own problems
9:36:56 PM phantomzac: I'm used to it
9:37:08 PM kittyspawnie: mkay
9:37:23 PM phantomzac: *curls up in a ball*
9:39:29 PM phantomzac: everything...will be ok...
9:39:43 PM kittyspawnie: I'm sure it will
9:40:01 PM phantomzac: ...
9:40:09 PM phantomzac: well, that makes one of us...
9:41:10 PM kittyspawnie: If you're going to whine, I'm leaving
9:41:21 PM phantomzac: fine
9:41:37 PM phantomzac: I'm not whining, but I DID tell you to go ahead to sleep didn't I?
9:41:50 PM kittyspawnie: I'm not sleepy yet
9:41:56 PM kittyspawnie: Tired is not necessarily sleepy
9:42:02 PM phantomzac: *shrug*
9:43:15 PM phantomzac: well, do what you like, I'm gonna go watch Star Trek
9:43:29 PM kittyspawnie: okay
9:43:34 PM phantomzac: good night
9:43:38 PM kittyspawnie: night
I will admit, I'm passive-aggressive. I'll tell people that nothing's wrong, and then tell them what's wrong anyway. But I usually don't do this online - if I do, it's in person, and it's usually unintentional. This passive-aggressive bullshit that he was pulling right here pisses me off to no end.
Monday night, we have another conversation.
6:00:25 PM phantomzac: yo
6:00:56 PM kittyspawnie: hey
6:01:01 PM phantomzac: what's up?
6:01:22 PM kittyspawnie: not much
6:01:25 PM kittyspawnie: cold
6:01:30 PM kittyspawnie: just finished the salad
6:01:44 PM phantomzac: ah
7:42:40 PM phantomzac: so...sorry for being so pissy last night
7:44:00 PM phantomzac: I was kinda...upset over some things...
7:50:15 PM kittyspawnie: it's okay
7:50:18 PM kittyspawnie: understandable
7:50:24 PM phantomzac: it is?
7:51:12 PM kittyspawnie: You think you're the only one who gets unreasonably irritable when they're upset?
7:51:25 PM phantomzac: yes...
7:51:41 PM kittyspawnie: pssh
7:51:49 PM kittyspawnie: You haven't been paying attention when I get pissy, then
7:52:26 PM phantomzac: I guess
8:13:20 PM phantomzac: I'm just annoyed with stuff
8:13:57 PM phantomzac: and...I came to the decision that I don't want you to buy me anything for Valentines day, it'll just make me feel bad.
8:14:06 PM kittyspawnie: ok
8:14:16 PM phantomzac: I'll still get you something if you like
8:14:59 PM kittyspawnie: that would be nice
8:15:13 PM phantomzac: alright
8:15:27 PM phantomzac: so...advice for what to do for [ex-girlfriend]...>.>
8:15:50 PM kittyspawnie: I dunno
8:15:52 PM kittyspawnie: what does she like?
8:15:59 PM phantomzac: lots of stuff
8:16:34 PM phantomzac: I wrote a poem which I could put on a card...however I'm afraid that it might come off to personal and scare her off.
8:17:03 PM kittyspawnie: hmm
8:17:08 PM kittyspawnie: might want to save that
8:17:37 PM kittyspawnie: bbl
8:17:39 PM phantomzac: as in, use it later?
8:17:40 PM kittyspawnie: gotta clean my room
8:17:47 PM kittyspawnie: yeah, if the opportunity arises
8:18:51 PM phantomzac: *crosses fingers
phantomzac went away (8:40:17 PM)
Away Message: Away (8:40:17 PM)
I don't really have too much of a reason for posting this other than the fact that it pissed me off that he thinks he's the only one who's an asshole when he's mad.
I should note that, at dinner, we sort of agreed that we might get an apartment together next year. The only reason I agreed to this was because I figured maybe he really was being honest about liking me and I wouldn't have to worry about him possibly coming on to me. I changed my mind a couple hours later, but I hadn't told him this yet.
Wednesday:
3:23:27 PM phantomzac: hey
3:24:16 PM kittyspawnie: hi
3:24:22 PM phantomzac: what's up?
3:24:30 PM kittyspawnie: just got in
3:24:40 PM phantomzac: fun times
3:44:58 PM phantomzac: you still want to get an apartment?
3:45:45 PM kittyspawnie: no, my cousin is looking for a new roommate, I think I might room with her.
3:50:02 PM phantomzac: ah
3:50:04 PM phantomzac: ok.
3:50:08 PM kittyspawnie: sorry
3:50:11 PM phantomzac: it's fine
3:50:24 PM phantomzac: we'd have strangled each other within a week any way.
3:50:40 PM kittyspawnie: probably
3:51:02 PM phantomzac: either that or you'd fall deeply in love with me
At this point, I think I literally screamed "DO NOT WANT!" a couple times at the screen. There is a fine line between joking from Katie and joking from Zac. From Katie it doesn't sound like a desperate "Har har just kidding - but seriously, you want to go out?"
3:51:19 PM kittyspawnie: Yeah, right.
3:52:41 PM phantomzac: psh, you know you would
3:52:58 PM kittyspawnie: Uh, no, I wouldn't.
3:53:56 PM phantomzac: right right
4:02:31 PM phantomzac: so...blarg
4:03:02 PM kittyspawnie: rawr?
4:03:47 PM phantomzac: ROTFLMAO
4:03:50 PM phantomzac: *shrug*
4:04:36 PM kittyspawnie: oooookay
4:04:44 PM phantomzac: what?
4:04:49 PM kittyspawnie: dunno
4:04:58 PM phantomzac: ooooookay
4:07:52 PM phantomzac: ow...I just fell out of my chair...
4:07:55 PM kittyspawnie: why?
4:08:26 PM phantomzac: -.- because I so enjoy the sensation of pain.
4:09:17 PM kittyspawnie: I wouldn't be surprised.
4:09:44 PM phantomzac: keep thy fantasies to thyself.
4:10:40 PM kittyspawnie: Ew. Why would I fantasize about that?
4:11:00 PM phantomzac: don't ask me to explain you
4:12:22 PM kittyspawnie: Look, Zac, I know you're under the deluded idea that I secretly have a crush on you. I don't. You can stop commenting on my non-existent feelings any time now.
4:46:28 PM phantomzac: um..no, actually I don't believe that at all
4:46:55 PM kittyspawnie: You're constantly referring to it, though. And it's starting to really annoy me.
4:47:09 PM phantomzac: fine
phantomzac went away (4:47:29 PM)
Away Message: Playing a game and plotting new plans, leave a message, or call (4:47:29 PM)
9:22:36 PM phantomzac: yo
9:22:41 PM kittyspawnie: hi
9:22:54 PM phantomzac: I'm losing my mind...
9:22:57 PM phantomzac: stupid exam
9:23:02 PM kittyspawnie: I;m sorry
9:23:13 PM phantomzac: meh
9:23:14 PM phantomzac: it's ok
phantomzac went away (9:53:01 PM)
Away Message: Sleeping (9:53:02 PM)
Please note the bolded time stamps, and please also note that it took him half an hour to respond. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, please, but if he was telling the truth, wouldn't he have responded right away? I showed this conversation to Lauren, and thinks that I hurt his feelings. I can't say I feel bad about it - I'm sick of half-serious jokes and weird glances that make me nervous. And I'm sick of being vaguely afraid that he's going to try to rape me at some point, as paranoid and unlikely as that seems.
I've come to a decision - I am going to tell Zac that I don't want him to touch me. He makes me uncomfortable. He kind of scares me. He's a big guy, a lot bigger than I am, and while I could push him around a bit, if he really decided he wanted to hurt me he most likely could with little trouble. He's getting a three-strike system: two verbal warnings, and after the third time he touches me I'm going to start hitting. I will hit hard, and I will hit where it counts. These are cumulative, too - the strikes don't reset every time I see him. Now I've just got to figure out whether or not I tell him in person or online. Online has the advantage of not having to put up with tears and sighs and guilt-trips, but in person seems a lot less bitchy. Not that it matters much, because he's going to be mad at me either way, and I don't really give a good goddamn anymore.
See, I have this friend, Zac. I met Zac in, oh, September or October of 2005. He messaged me on Facebook, and I could tell he was hoping for a romantic encounter. I figured it would be safe if I had him meet me at Whimsicality Club, and he ended up coming to the Leaf Pile Olympics.
Now, before the LPO, I saw him talking to Will and "the Collective", and when I asked Will about him he said, "Oh, you mean Creepy Stalker Zac?" So that didn't exactly give me a good feeling about agreeing to meet him. Still, I was meeting him at a group event where people knew me and would actually look out for me, and there was no way I was going to be going to his room, or him to mine. So I shrugged it off as personal bias and went to Whimsy in a slightly nervous state.
The first thing Zac did when he saw me was say hello. Perfectly normal, of course. And then he opened his arms for a hug. I hugged him, only because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but that really creeped me out. And things didn't get too much better - he joined Whimsicality Club, and while I became his friend he still (and does to this day) made me somewhat nervous. He would IM me constantly, even though he really had nothing to say, and while this is normally not something that annoys me (hell, I do it myself!), he wouldn't get the hint that I didn't want to talk to him. I'd be sending him one- or two-word responses, and he would prattle on like I'd asked him to describe his entire life. And once I'd established that I didn't like him as anything more than a friend, he would deny ever having even considered me as a romantic interest, saying I wasn't his type at all. Which was fine with me, obviously. He spent most of his time crushing on various girls in Whimsy, including a good stint where both he and Will were infatuated with the other Sarah in the group. She told me a couple times about how she and Zac would be watching a movie, with her lying in bed and him on the chair, and he would get on the bed with her and basically try to cuddle up with her.
I really, really wish I'd done what everyone else advised and blocked his AIM screen name.
Eventually he stopped IMing me so much and being such a pain in the ass. It was mostly this last semester that this happened, and I think a big part of that was because he developed a huge crush on my friend Katie. Now, Katie is a friend from Jackson. I am the one who got her to consider going to Western. I am also the one who introduced her to her boyfriend of six months, Andy. It didn't take me too long to pick up on his feelings, and after confirming them with him I promptly told Katie about it - after all, it was something she should know, considering she had a boyfriend, and we tell each other almost everything. For a while it wasn't a problem, since we tended to hang out together and that way we could just tease Zac about it. Andy eventually figured it out on his own. Zac claims that the only reason Andy knows is because I told him, but I didn't say a word. I didn't need to - anyone with eyes could see he likes Katie. Every time Andy and Katie kiss (and this is not often in public, and usually just a couple kisses on the lips with a bit of tongue, no groping or anything like that involved), he turns away and will often move to another part of the room. He keeps looking at Katie with this longing expression on his face, too. He's said that he is perfectly discreet about it, and every time I hear that I have to laugh my ass off. He is less subtle than I am when I have a crush on someone, and I thought that was impossible.
Katie likes to set people up. She's been having Zac meet some of her single friends, and I think I'm one of her pet projects. She likes to joke about us going out and being perfect for each other because we bicker so much. I have sworn off this idea on the basis that Zac makes me want to go lock myself in a padded room at the thought of kissing him - it's not that he's hideous, but he is not physically attractive to me at all, and with the creepy factor added in my body starts wanting to grow poisonous barbs. So she's been having Zac meet a few girls she knows. And recently Zac had a girlfriend, but she broke it off rather quickly, stating that she wasn't ready for a relationship. Normally I would chalk this up to bad luck, but I've heard some things that make me feel sorry for these girls. Namely, that he tried to force one of the girls to kiss him.
Did I mention that he seems to have no sense of personal space?
On Sunday, I decided that it would be fun to have Zac and Katie over and cook dinner for them. And by dinner, I meant spaghetti and peach crisp, because that's what I had and I didn't want to eat it all by myself. So I called them both up. Katie couldn't come, but Zac was, of course, free, and his roommate Nathan was coming to dinner as well. I needed to go to Meijer to pick up some butter and stuff, and asked Zac if he wanted to come along, and of course he did. While we were shopping, I was pushing the cart and Zac walked behind me, and periodically he would put his hand against my back or shoulder. After a while this started to really annoy me, and I told him (truthfully) that it reminded me of how my dad tends to get touchy-feely when he's drunk, and that I hate it. He said he was only trying to steer me in the right direction, though how he was going to steer me with a light touch when I was already done turning and heading into the next aisle I wasn't sure.
You'd think that what I said would be enough of a hint for him to realize that I didn't like him touching me. But he didn't, and eventually he was back to randomly touching my back. Now, I know that I should have spoken up, but I was afraid I was going to hurt his feelings by saying "Hey, don't touch me." Anyway, at one point I told him that I was going to hit him if he didn't quit it. He chuckled like I was joking, and because I was pretty pissed off I whirled around and smacked him in the face. He got indignant and started whining, and I told him that I was sorry I'd hit him that hard, but I'd warned him. At dinner, he kept harping about it, and even went so far as to joke that I was Voldemort and he was Harry Potter, and every time I got mad his face hurt.
Afterward, I couldn't find my keys. I'd had Zac take my keys and run to my room to get something, and he was the last person to have them. When I called him he said he didn't have them, and kept saying "I can't help you, so what do you want me to do?" Eventually I got him to come over to help look, but I found them before he got there. I called him to let him know I had, and he got pissed off that I'd dragged him out in the cold for nothing. I went back to my room and got online, and of course he IMed me.
9:24:36 PM phantomzac: blarg
9:24:43 PM kittyspawnie: You know
9:24:50 PM kittyspawnie: it's partly your fault they were lost
9:25:02 PM kittyspawnie: if you'd handed them to me or put them on the table they wouldn't have gotten sucked into the couch
9:25:11 PM phantomzac: whatever
9:25:20 PM kittyspawnie: =P
9:25:23 PM kittyspawnie: But thank you
9:25:45 PM phantomzac: meh
9:25:54 PM phantomzac: no problem
9:27:27 PM phantomzac: Sorry, I'm in a really pissy mood right now
9:27:34 PM kittyspawnie: I'm sorry
9:27:38 PM phantomzac: meh
9:27:48 PM kittyspawnie: Well, it's my fault anyway >_<
9:27:53 PM phantomzac: is it?
9:28:30 PM kittyspawnie: Um, I bitched at you about my keys when you couldn't do anything and had you walk over here for nothing. Why wouldn't it be my fault?
9:28:47 PM phantomzac: I suppose that's partially it
9:29:21 PM kittyspawnie: I'm really sorry
9:30:07 PM phantomzac: bah
9:30:25 PM phantomzac: it's unimportant
9:30:27 PM kittyspawnie: mmkay
9:30:42 PM phantomzac: I'm just confused
9:30:47 PM kittyspawnie: ?
9:30:55 PM phantomzac: nothing...never mind
9:31:07 PM kittyspawnie: okay
9:31:41 PM phantomzac: *sigh*
9:31:49 PM kittyspawnie: what?
9:31:53 PM phantomzac: nothing...
9:32:02 PM phantomzac: guess...I'm just lonely again
9:32:07 PM kittyspawnie: I'm sorry
9:32:15 PM phantomzac: not really your thought
9:33:36 PM phantomzac: *fault
9:33:44 PM kittyspawnie: hmm
9:33:50 PM phantomzac: what?
9:33:58 PM kittyspawnie: I dunno
9:34:00 PM kittyspawnie: I'm tired
9:34:12 PM phantomzac: then go to sleep, I'll solve my own problems
9:36:56 PM phantomzac: I'm used to it
9:37:08 PM kittyspawnie: mkay
9:37:23 PM phantomzac: *curls up in a ball*
9:39:29 PM phantomzac: everything...will be ok...
9:39:43 PM kittyspawnie: I'm sure it will
9:40:01 PM phantomzac: ...
9:40:09 PM phantomzac: well, that makes one of us...
9:41:10 PM kittyspawnie: If you're going to whine, I'm leaving
9:41:21 PM phantomzac: fine
9:41:37 PM phantomzac: I'm not whining, but I DID tell you to go ahead to sleep didn't I?
9:41:50 PM kittyspawnie: I'm not sleepy yet
9:41:56 PM kittyspawnie: Tired is not necessarily sleepy
9:42:02 PM phantomzac: *shrug*
9:43:15 PM phantomzac: well, do what you like, I'm gonna go watch Star Trek
9:43:29 PM kittyspawnie: okay
9:43:34 PM phantomzac: good night
9:43:38 PM kittyspawnie: night
I will admit, I'm passive-aggressive. I'll tell people that nothing's wrong, and then tell them what's wrong anyway. But I usually don't do this online - if I do, it's in person, and it's usually unintentional. This passive-aggressive bullshit that he was pulling right here pisses me off to no end.
Monday night, we have another conversation.
6:00:25 PM phantomzac: yo
6:00:56 PM kittyspawnie: hey
6:01:01 PM phantomzac: what's up?
6:01:22 PM kittyspawnie: not much
6:01:25 PM kittyspawnie: cold
6:01:30 PM kittyspawnie: just finished the salad
6:01:44 PM phantomzac: ah
7:42:40 PM phantomzac: so...sorry for being so pissy last night
7:44:00 PM phantomzac: I was kinda...upset over some things...
7:50:15 PM kittyspawnie: it's okay
7:50:18 PM kittyspawnie: understandable
7:50:24 PM phantomzac: it is?
7:51:12 PM kittyspawnie: You think you're the only one who gets unreasonably irritable when they're upset?
7:51:25 PM phantomzac: yes...
7:51:41 PM kittyspawnie: pssh
7:51:49 PM kittyspawnie: You haven't been paying attention when I get pissy, then
7:52:26 PM phantomzac: I guess
8:13:20 PM phantomzac: I'm just annoyed with stuff
8:13:57 PM phantomzac: and...I came to the decision that I don't want you to buy me anything for Valentines day, it'll just make me feel bad.
8:14:06 PM kittyspawnie: ok
8:14:16 PM phantomzac: I'll still get you something if you like
8:14:59 PM kittyspawnie: that would be nice
8:15:13 PM phantomzac: alright
8:15:27 PM phantomzac: so...advice for what to do for [ex-girlfriend]...>.>
8:15:50 PM kittyspawnie: I dunno
8:15:52 PM kittyspawnie: what does she like?
8:15:59 PM phantomzac: lots of stuff
8:16:34 PM phantomzac: I wrote a poem which I could put on a card...however I'm afraid that it might come off to personal and scare her off.
8:17:03 PM kittyspawnie: hmm
8:17:08 PM kittyspawnie: might want to save that
8:17:37 PM kittyspawnie: bbl
8:17:39 PM phantomzac: as in, use it later?
8:17:40 PM kittyspawnie: gotta clean my room
8:17:47 PM kittyspawnie: yeah, if the opportunity arises
8:18:51 PM phantomzac: *crosses fingers
phantomzac went away (8:40:17 PM)
Away Message: Away (8:40:17 PM)
I don't really have too much of a reason for posting this other than the fact that it pissed me off that he thinks he's the only one who's an asshole when he's mad.
I should note that, at dinner, we sort of agreed that we might get an apartment together next year. The only reason I agreed to this was because I figured maybe he really was being honest about liking me and I wouldn't have to worry about him possibly coming on to me. I changed my mind a couple hours later, but I hadn't told him this yet.
Wednesday:
3:23:27 PM phantomzac: hey
3:24:16 PM kittyspawnie: hi
3:24:22 PM phantomzac: what's up?
3:24:30 PM kittyspawnie: just got in
3:24:40 PM phantomzac: fun times
3:44:58 PM phantomzac: you still want to get an apartment?
3:45:45 PM kittyspawnie: no, my cousin is looking for a new roommate, I think I might room with her.
3:50:02 PM phantomzac: ah
3:50:04 PM phantomzac: ok.
3:50:08 PM kittyspawnie: sorry
3:50:11 PM phantomzac: it's fine
3:50:24 PM phantomzac: we'd have strangled each other within a week any way.
3:50:40 PM kittyspawnie: probably
3:51:02 PM phantomzac: either that or you'd fall deeply in love with me
At this point, I think I literally screamed "DO NOT WANT!" a couple times at the screen. There is a fine line between joking from Katie and joking from Zac. From Katie it doesn't sound like a desperate "Har har just kidding - but seriously, you want to go out?"
3:51:19 PM kittyspawnie: Yeah, right.
3:52:41 PM phantomzac: psh, you know you would
3:52:58 PM kittyspawnie: Uh, no, I wouldn't.
3:53:56 PM phantomzac: right right
4:02:31 PM phantomzac: so...blarg
4:03:02 PM kittyspawnie: rawr?
4:03:47 PM phantomzac: ROTFLMAO
4:03:50 PM phantomzac: *shrug*
4:04:36 PM kittyspawnie: oooookay
4:04:44 PM phantomzac: what?
4:04:49 PM kittyspawnie: dunno
4:04:58 PM phantomzac: ooooookay
4:07:52 PM phantomzac: ow...I just fell out of my chair...
4:07:55 PM kittyspawnie: why?
4:08:26 PM phantomzac: -.- because I so enjoy the sensation of pain.
4:09:17 PM kittyspawnie: I wouldn't be surprised.
4:09:44 PM phantomzac: keep thy fantasies to thyself.
4:10:40 PM kittyspawnie: Ew. Why would I fantasize about that?
4:11:00 PM phantomzac: don't ask me to explain you
4:12:22 PM kittyspawnie: Look, Zac, I know you're under the deluded idea that I secretly have a crush on you. I don't. You can stop commenting on my non-existent feelings any time now.
4:46:28 PM phantomzac: um..no, actually I don't believe that at all
4:46:55 PM kittyspawnie: You're constantly referring to it, though. And it's starting to really annoy me.
4:47:09 PM phantomzac: fine
phantomzac went away (4:47:29 PM)
Away Message: Playing a game and plotting new plans, leave a message, or call (4:47:29 PM)
9:22:36 PM phantomzac: yo
9:22:41 PM kittyspawnie: hi
9:22:54 PM phantomzac: I'm losing my mind...
9:22:57 PM phantomzac: stupid exam
9:23:02 PM kittyspawnie: I;m sorry
9:23:13 PM phantomzac: meh
9:23:14 PM phantomzac: it's ok
phantomzac went away (9:53:01 PM)
Away Message: Sleeping (9:53:02 PM)
Please note the bolded time stamps, and please also note that it took him half an hour to respond. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, please, but if he was telling the truth, wouldn't he have responded right away? I showed this conversation to Lauren, and thinks that I hurt his feelings. I can't say I feel bad about it - I'm sick of half-serious jokes and weird glances that make me nervous. And I'm sick of being vaguely afraid that he's going to try to rape me at some point, as paranoid and unlikely as that seems.
I've come to a decision - I am going to tell Zac that I don't want him to touch me. He makes me uncomfortable. He kind of scares me. He's a big guy, a lot bigger than I am, and while I could push him around a bit, if he really decided he wanted to hurt me he most likely could with little trouble. He's getting a three-strike system: two verbal warnings, and after the third time he touches me I'm going to start hitting. I will hit hard, and I will hit where it counts. These are cumulative, too - the strikes don't reset every time I see him. Now I've just got to figure out whether or not I tell him in person or online. Online has the advantage of not having to put up with tears and sighs and guilt-trips, but in person seems a lot less bitchy. Not that it matters much, because he's going to be mad at me either way, and I don't really give a good goddamn anymore.
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From:
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*hugs*
From:
no subject
That's right. I will come up to Kalamazoo and beat the life out of you.
Out of you. ;)
You deserve to have all the free time back you spent with that dude who seemed that he was ultimately trying to get in your pants (even though you might not have realized it at the time and even though I might be exaggerating).
We single people have to stick together, no? <3