(no subject)

[amadeupname]

I managed to avoid it for a couple months, but I'm getting depressed again. Kohl's sent me a letter saying "Sorry, won't hire you this time, please try again!", and the Gazette sent a similar letter saying they'd filled the position I was applying for. I haven't heard a thing from EPC, the bastards. I've got $50 in the bank, very little gas in my car, school starts in a little over a month, and the biggest prospect I have of getting a job is re-applying for McDonald's. I'm more annoyed than excited about being on Weight Watchers, since having to think about food all the time makes me more, not less, hungry. I'm having trouble getting myself to leave the house, because I feel ugly and disgusting and like a complete social failure.

I want to go home, damnit. I'm this close to telling Ricky to forget about me being in D&D, I'll come over to his house again when I can, and going home now so I can see my mom and Katie and maybe even Jess and Chelsey. I want to go back to school and see my friends again, even if they're going to ignore me half the time. I want to hang out with Robin one more time before she leaves for Japan. I want someone other than Joe to IM me, instead of the other way around - or, hell, just respond to my messages. I want to be able to talk to someone and not feel like I'm bothering them. I want to know what I'm doing for once in my life, because I have no clue where I'm going.

And, damnit, I want to be able to edit this fanfic without feeling like a complete failure for not having come up with something absolutely perfect the first time.

Comments

[soulfire003.livejournal.com]

*hugs* ,,

[moldypotatochip.livejournal.com]

You should come to my going away party on Friday. I feel sad that I will never be going back to school at Western AND I'm going to Japan. I miss you.

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

I'll do my best to come. I'll have to get gas money from my parents or something, though.