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Ugh... So, I went to Michael's last night after work to use the gift card Mom gave me, and I picked up a couple drawing books and some scratchboard stuff. And I was reading one of the books, and it was talking about, when practicing drawing people, asking family of friends to model for you. Well, I was thinking about who I would want to model for me.
Guess who the first person I thought of was.
So I went to bed, and I fell asleep thinking about him and how I was scared to try and call him (though I have to ask Darius for the number first, and that also scares me, since it's Darius), and how no matter how hard I try, I can't really get over him, and I certainly can't forget him.
This is the only guy that I'm dreamed about more than once or twice. He's also the only guy that I haven't gotten over with prolonged isolation from him. I got over Mike (Deanna, Jennie, tell 'em!), for crying out loud...
Anyway, I had this dream. I was spending the night at Chelsey's (or she was over at my dad's house, because that's what it looked like), and there's this knocking on my window. Well, I ignore it since I can't see anything outside, but Chelsey's like, "It's Russell! Go answer the door!" I go to the door and open it, and Russell is indeed standing out on my lawn, with a couple friends running around. So we talk for a bit, and then we're at this fair or anime con or something. And I go into this little general store or whatever, and I'm looking at anime soundtracks which are all $50 and I remember thinking I only have $10 (one of the ones I picked up was the GTO soundtrack, vol 2, and I've never seen the soundtrack in my life. I'm assuming there's only one volume >_>; ).
And I've been thinking about him all day. ALL FUCKING DAY. This is worse than anything I've ever experienced when I was crazy over some other guy. And I don't know what to do about it. I wanna call him and at least see if he really wants to be my friend, or if he just wants me to leave him alone. But I don't want to do that until I have my Prozac, so I won't start crying and making him uncomfortable, and I'm afraid that I'm going to go off on a tangent and bitch at him because I'm also really angry at him for some things. So I just don't know what to do.
Guess who the first person I thought of was.
So I went to bed, and I fell asleep thinking about him and how I was scared to try and call him (though I have to ask Darius for the number first, and that also scares me, since it's Darius), and how no matter how hard I try, I can't really get over him, and I certainly can't forget him.
This is the only guy that I'm dreamed about more than once or twice. He's also the only guy that I haven't gotten over with prolonged isolation from him. I got over Mike (Deanna, Jennie, tell 'em!), for crying out loud...
Anyway, I had this dream. I was spending the night at Chelsey's (or she was over at my dad's house, because that's what it looked like), and there's this knocking on my window. Well, I ignore it since I can't see anything outside, but Chelsey's like, "It's Russell! Go answer the door!" I go to the door and open it, and Russell is indeed standing out on my lawn, with a couple friends running around. So we talk for a bit, and then we're at this fair or anime con or something. And I go into this little general store or whatever, and I'm looking at anime soundtracks which are all $50 and I remember thinking I only have $10 (one of the ones I picked up was the GTO soundtrack, vol 2, and I've never seen the soundtrack in my life. I'm assuming there's only one volume >_>; ).
And I've been thinking about him all day. ALL FUCKING DAY. This is worse than anything I've ever experienced when I was crazy over some other guy. And I don't know what to do about it. I wanna call him and at least see if he really wants to be my friend, or if he just wants me to leave him alone. But I don't want to do that until I have my Prozac, so I won't start crying and making him uncomfortable, and I'm afraid that I'm going to go off on a tangent and bitch at him because I'm also really angry at him for some things. So I just don't know what to do.
