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So, I spend all morning and afternoon cooking, because I wanted to bring some Japanese food to anime club. I end up with four bento, one which I eat, and seven rice balls covered in crappy azuki paste that I could not make right because I could not find CANNED azuki beans, and I had to mash them with a meat tenderizer instead of a potato masher. So I take the bento to club, eat two, and give the other to a friend only to have him hand it back later, claiming he didn't eat it because he felt sick. Well, I feel loved.
I'm supposed to meet TJ at the Thunderbird at 6, right? So I leave club early, and get to the coffeehouse a couple minutes early. I settle in, get to work on my creative writing journal, chat with Russell who I run into (and it turns out he got my Y!M ID from Quint, who also told him one of my... "interests"...). 6:15 rolls around. No TJ. I shrug and figure he's just late. 6:30, still no TJ. I use someone's cell to call dad.
There are no phone calls or messages for me. Which means someone has effectively stood me up. I waited a FUCKING HOUR for him. He probably forgot or something, but damnit! You'd think that talking to him last night would be soon enough for him to remember, or that he'd at least TRY to remember something like meeting a friend.
* * * * *
Love is refusing to let yourself come first; it's the thrill accompanied by a whiff of perfume, the touch of a hand, the softest puff of breath on the back of your neck. Love is the whisper that guides you to sleep, the intimate bond you can't even have with yourself. Love is more than roses, chocolates, teddy bears. It's what makes you buy them in the first place -- the urge to make someone smile only for you. It's selflessness and selfishness -- the desire for their happiness and your own. Love is waking up next to them and being perfectly content to watch them sleep. It's the brushing of lips against your own, the arm circling your shoulders, the place to turn when you cry.
Love is sadness.
It's the empty hole that threatens your sanity when they leave. It's the ache in your heart when you cannot touch or see them -- when they don't even seem to know you exist.
Love is the sound of your name on their lips. It's knowing you're not alone, that there's someone else in this world who cares what happens to you, someone who won't let you cry yourself to sleep at night.
Love is beyond my reach.
~
Yup. Perfectly angsty, as always. Seems to be my signature mark, eh? That was a little exercise where we had to describe a feeling without using the words "feel" or "feeling".
EDIT: Gah. Accidentally posted this in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
bad_rpers_suck.
EDIT #2: Talked to him. He's been having a bad day and completely forgot, and he's feeling pretty horrible about it. So just disregard the ranting as the products of a pissed off, sugared-up kid. And what the fuck is wrong with my lj-cut tag?!
I'm supposed to meet TJ at the Thunderbird at 6, right? So I leave club early, and get to the coffeehouse a couple minutes early. I settle in, get to work on my creative writing journal, chat with Russell who I run into (and it turns out he got my Y!M ID from Quint, who also told him one of my... "interests"...). 6:15 rolls around. No TJ. I shrug and figure he's just late. 6:30, still no TJ. I use someone's cell to call dad.
There are no phone calls or messages for me. Which means someone has effectively stood me up. I waited a FUCKING HOUR for him. He probably forgot or something, but damnit! You'd think that talking to him last night would be soon enough for him to remember, or that he'd at least TRY to remember something like meeting a friend.
Love is refusing to let yourself come first; it's the thrill accompanied by a whiff of perfume, the touch of a hand, the softest puff of breath on the back of your neck. Love is the whisper that guides you to sleep, the intimate bond you can't even have with yourself. Love is more than roses, chocolates, teddy bears. It's what makes you buy them in the first place -- the urge to make someone smile only for you. It's selflessness and selfishness -- the desire for their happiness and your own. Love is waking up next to them and being perfectly content to watch them sleep. It's the brushing of lips against your own, the arm circling your shoulders, the place to turn when you cry.
Love is sadness.
It's the empty hole that threatens your sanity when they leave. It's the ache in your heart when you cannot touch or see them -- when they don't even seem to know you exist.
Love is the sound of your name on their lips. It's knowing you're not alone, that there's someone else in this world who cares what happens to you, someone who won't let you cry yourself to sleep at night.
Love is beyond my reach.
~
Yup. Perfectly angsty, as always. Seems to be my signature mark, eh? That was a little exercise where we had to describe a feeling without using the words "feel" or "feeling".
EDIT: Gah. Accidentally posted this in
bad_rpers_suck.EDIT #2: Talked to him. He's been having a bad day and completely forgot, and he's feeling pretty horrible about it. So just disregard the ranting as the products of a pissed off, sugared-up kid. And what the fuck is wrong with my lj-cut tag?!
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