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This Christmas party is the first we've had since Grandpa died. In some regards it was the same as always - same food being served, same tradition of giving each other gifts, same old boozy eggnog - but there was no Santa coming downstairs, and the basement was decidedly less messy, since Uncle Scott moved in and redid the basement. There's a bathroom down there now! Hurrah!
My cousins Max and Betsy came up to me with a computer mouse, and Max asked me to click on it because it was broken. Now, these two have a tendency to try and trick me (and any other poor sucker who falls for their act, really), so I just stared at them. Max said, "No, really! Look, I'll click it! See, nothing happened!" And nothing happened when he clicked it, so I reached down and pressed the left-click button. Nothing but a buzzing noise.
"No!" Max said. "You've gotta touch the sides!"
So I sighed, and grasped the mouse by the sides, which I noticed were metal, and like a complete idiot I clicked the mouse again. I got a nasty shock that jolted my entire hand, and I flung the mouse to the ground. Betsy and Max laughed, I yelled at them that that hurt and that it wasn't funny at all, and then Max got indignant when it turned out that I might have broken it. I started to say that I don't care, and then I told him that I hope I did break the damn thing.
That really did hurt, too. My hand was tingling for at least fifteen minutes afterward. You know how, if you're not careful pulling a plug and you touch the prongs while they're still in the socket, you get an unpleasant buzzing in your fingers? This was about twenty times worse. Why the hell does my cousin have a toy like that, and who on earth really thinks it's funny?
Dad had too much eggnog and I had to drive him home. Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure he was drunk most of the day to begin with. He kept patting me on the head or the arm, and it took me quite a bit of willpower not to jerk away from him. He always gets touchy-feely and emotional when he's drunk - a surefire way to tell is when he's crying.
Well, anyway, Merry Christmas, everybody! I hope you got everything you really wanted!
My cousins Max and Betsy came up to me with a computer mouse, and Max asked me to click on it because it was broken. Now, these two have a tendency to try and trick me (and any other poor sucker who falls for their act, really), so I just stared at them. Max said, "No, really! Look, I'll click it! See, nothing happened!" And nothing happened when he clicked it, so I reached down and pressed the left-click button. Nothing but a buzzing noise.
"No!" Max said. "You've gotta touch the sides!"
So I sighed, and grasped the mouse by the sides, which I noticed were metal, and like a complete idiot I clicked the mouse again. I got a nasty shock that jolted my entire hand, and I flung the mouse to the ground. Betsy and Max laughed, I yelled at them that that hurt and that it wasn't funny at all, and then Max got indignant when it turned out that I might have broken it. I started to say that I don't care, and then I told him that I hope I did break the damn thing.
That really did hurt, too. My hand was tingling for at least fifteen minutes afterward. You know how, if you're not careful pulling a plug and you touch the prongs while they're still in the socket, you get an unpleasant buzzing in your fingers? This was about twenty times worse. Why the hell does my cousin have a toy like that, and who on earth really thinks it's funny?
Dad had too much eggnog and I had to drive him home. Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure he was drunk most of the day to begin with. He kept patting me on the head or the arm, and it took me quite a bit of willpower not to jerk away from him. He always gets touchy-feely and emotional when he's drunk - a surefire way to tell is when he's crying.
Well, anyway, Merry Christmas, everybody! I hope you got everything you really wanted!
