Crappy overused literary devices make Sarah RAGE.

[amadeupname]

I gave into temptation and downloaded New Moon a couple days ago. Even while converting it to HTML format so I could read it on my web browser instead of in that crappy little text window, I finished it this morning.

Good god, Bella is one stupid bitch, and I want Edward to die more than ever.

Seriously, I don't know why she kept mooning after him and shutting herself off from everyone when he purposefully treated her like shit to keep her from coming after him. And the whole comparison to Romeo and Juliet made me gag (not only because it's trite and cliche and all kinds of stupid, but because I also really hate Romeo and Juliet). Not to mention Bella's stupid "Oh my god those vampires are eating innocent people how can that human lady work for them hey why won't you make me a vampire Edwaaaaaard?" reaction at the end. GOD.

The only thing that made reading this book even remotely worth it was Jacob, and Bella kept pissing me off through the entire thing. I was fine with the Bella/Jacob pairing, even if I DO hate her and want her to die, but the fact that she pretty much betrayed Jacob by following the vamps when she KNEW they're his arch-nemeses - by nature, though at this point it's also his choice - to go follow Mr. Perfect when she KNEW Jacob was completely in love with her, just made me want to strangle her. And then just automatically forgiving Edward for the shit he put her through with "I knew you loved me all along!" - it just completely made any sympathy I ever felt for her throughout the book shrivel up and die. Jacob - at least pre-wolf Jacob - was so obviously better and safer for her.

I will never, ever, EVER understand the attraction that some people (characters AND fans) have to the brooding, mysterious, beautiful jerk-ass. Because that's what he is - a complete, irredeemable, all and out jerk-ass. And the only reason she/they love him is because he's supposedly the paramount of physical perfection, and he's secretive and aloof and pushes the love interest away, at least at first, and therefore he's even more alluring (which goes into the attraction to things we can't have). Apparently it's enough to overlook the temper and the controlling attitude and the fact that he never tells her what's going on, treats her like a small child to be looked after, lies to her, goes against her wishes (seriously, if your girlfriend tells you she doesn't want to celebrate her birthday, just give her a damn CD and hang out with her for the day, don't drag her to some elaborate party that she's protesting the entire fucking time), doesn't respect her enough to let her make her own decisions or discuss things with her before he makes his own - he's pretty and kissing him is soooooooo much fun! It's okay that he causes no end of heartbreak and crying, because the idea of being in love with him is too appealing to let go of. It's the only reason she exists, so of course she has to be in love with him.

I'm not even talking solely about Edward at this point. Half the shoujo manga I've read has a set-up like this (Ceres: Celestial Legend or Fushigi Yuugi, anyone?), and there's ALWAYS the normal, decent guy who is totally in love with her and would actually make her happy and never, ever do a thing to hurt her unless it was a horrible accident, and he ALWAYS always always gets walked all over, used, pushed away, treated like dirt... and never seems to give up and move on.

And the girl never actually makes a choice, because the formula is always the same:

Girl meets Mysterious Guy. Girl falls in love with MG. MG pushes her away, realizes his feelings for her, they start dating or whatever. MG leaves for some stupid selfish reason. Girl goes into shock and turns into a weepy mess because she's a co-dependent idiot and can't live without him. Average Guy supports her, helps her, has obvious unrequited love for her that he is usually completely honest about. Girl says no at first, then gets closer to him and either falls in love with him or gets close to it. Then MG shows back up and Girl ALWAYS RUNS RIGHT BACK TO HIM, no matter what it does to poor AG, and is shocked if/when he's not cool with it.

I just don't understand what on earth is so appealing about some poor, naive girl willingly shackling herself to a cold, distant, emotionally abusive jerk-ass whose only redeeming qualities seem to be appearance, kissing ability, and pure unadulterated stubbornness. Am I abnormal for thinking that the well-adjusted, decent-looking guy who actually cares what I have to say and won't force me into a state of co-dependence is the better choice here? Because this damn scenario is so popular I'm starting to think that half the female population of the world is completely and utterly nutso.

I... am also somewhat interesting in reading Eclipse, just to see how bad it gets, but I don't know if I can take much more of SMeyer turning Jacob into the bad guy because he opposes Edward and Bella's Pure, Perfect True Love.

Comments

[blazingmoogle.livejournal.com]

It's popular in *japan*

That answers that

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

it sounds like author confusion between 'nice guy' (who are often boring, passive-aggressive wimps with no life outside of the woman) and 'good guys' who are kind, decent, caring, treat you with respect, but have enough of an edcge to them and a life of their own to make them sexy and interesting.

In truth, it isn't that women are wanting the bad boys per se. They want sogsomeone with a life, inner strength, and a backbone. but they are often pretty messed up in the head over the difference too.

Sounds like this author has 'Strong, caring, and loving Alpha with a passionate love for the heroine' mixed up with 'Good looking control freak asshole'. Bah.

[nyxalinth.livejournal.com]

ugh, morning typos for the lose.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

On the one hand, Edward is manipulative, abusive, and a stalker and no one deserves to be trapped with someone like that. On the other, Bella is co-dependent and possibly a pathological narcissist (notice how she has to be at the center of everything). I think they're made for each other.

And I hate the brooding mysterious guy. He is NEVER as interesting as the good guy in the woman's life (it's always the good guy versus mysterious guy in these types of stories), and yet the woman always ends up with Mr. Mystery Von No Personality.

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

OH GOD THANK YOU. I thought I was the only one who didn't give a flip about Mr. Cardboard Romeo. I'm so sick of people looking at me like I grew another head for daring to say I like the goofy normal guy better.

[stille-hoffnung.livejournal.com]

Reading Eclipse will make you rage even more. The next book just came out and I'm trying to figure out if I'm masochistic enough to read it. I know that if I do, I'll probably throw the book down in a blind rage at least a dozen times, if not more.

Edward=controlling stalker jerk
Bella=Dumbass idiot who can't be independent
Jacob=cute kid who has a great shoulder to cry on

If I could have it my way, Bella would get amnesia and forget all about Edward, Jacob would do cool things, and Edward would spontaneously combust from sun sparkles.

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

According to Louise, the oldest daughter of the family I'm staying with now, Jacob turns into a jerk in the last book... but then she's a big fan of the books and thinks I'm crazy for hating Edward and Bella. I've got an idea for a sort of... Anti-Twilight, I guess you've call it, and I've been writing for the past couple days, but it's slow going (I only have a couple pages and I really have no idea where I'm going with this) and it's probably going to end up as crap. But I have to try anyway, because damnit, this book made me SO DAMN ANGRY. Also, thinking about Jacob makes me sad, because he deserves so much better.

On another note, awesome icon of awesomeness! :3

[magiclad2007.livejournal.com]

I guess this still stands.

[queelez.livejournal.com]

If you want to see an awesome semi-aversion to this, read Daniel Handler's 'The Basic Eight.' The main character does the same sort of thing throughout the entire book except the totally awesome ending I won't spoil. However, her best friend calls her out on it in the form of a two-page long rant that's possibly one of my favorite speeches in literature.

Also, there's opera, lesbianic undertones, satanism, drugs, parodies of English class, and Othello. And it's written by Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket.

So, yeah.

[thesaneminority.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!! WANT. Any way you can find a downloadable copy for me or something? I can't exactly get a hold of it here unless I bully the boyfriend into buying it on Amazon and mailing it to me, and I'd probably have to wait a few weeks and have him send it to the next family.

[vadalia.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on pretty much every single point but had to comment (even though it's horribly late) because:

Ceres: Celestial Legend

This. So much so. I loved, loved, loved the normal guy in there (I forget his name though...) and absolutely hated MG (Toya? I think?) Like, I know he was all tragic and had no memory and such but he annoyed me to no end. Of course I absolutely loved Aki too (the crazy-ass brother) because he fills my villain kink, plus I don't think he was a jerk (actually, I think he really cared for both his sister and Toya) so much as the ancestor who took over his body was.